5 Easy Ways to Keep Your Romance Alive After Kids

two people holding pinkies outside

Romance after kids is hard. As any parent knows, a lot changes after having kids. Suddenly, much of our life revolves around their schedules and needs, and it can be difficult to make time for anything else. Not to mention that after work and parenting, we’re too tired to do much else! As a result, it’s easy to relegate our relationship with our partner to the back burner.

But maintaining romance is important for the long-term health and vitality of our relationships. And it is possible with intention, planning, and a little creativity.

Help your relationship thrive by implementing these five easy (and pandemic-friendly) ways to keep your romance alive after kids.

5 Easy Ways to Keep Your Romance Alive After Kids

1. Have regular at-home date nights
Spending time together as a couple is key to building and maintaining a strong relationship. Date nights out on the town are difficult after kids (especially during a pandemic!), so finding ways to connect at home is a perfect solution for busy parents. After the kids go to bed, take a couple mugs of coffee out to the back porch, enjoy a delectable dessert, snuggle up to watch a movie, or try one of these Airbnb Online Experiences.

2. Schedule intimacy

This may seem like the antithesis of romance, but scheduling sex can be an effective way to keep the romance alive for parents of young children. When you’re exhausted and overwhelmed by all the demands of motherhood, it can be nearly impossible to feel spontaneously “in the mood.” Scheduling your intimate times not only helps you make it a priority but also gives you notice so you can prepare and put yourself in the right frame of mind beforehand. When you know it’s coming, you can make extra effort to take it easy that day, and do some things that you know might help the mood – like putting on makeup or wearing something a little nicer than your normal day-to-day choices.

3. Get creative with your physical affection

Exhaustion after kids is no joke, but even when you’re too tired for full physical intimacy, there are other ways to be physically affectionate that don’t require much energy. Swapping foot rubs at the end of a long day, holding hands while watching a movie on the couch, sneaking kisses in the kitchen while you’re cooking, and cuddling in bed at the end of the night are all easy, meaningful ways to show physical affection. Plus, those little “I love you” moments might spice up your relationship so that you are wanting to find even more time for each other after the kids go to bed.

4. Flirt with each other

Reignite the spark in your relationship by flirting with each other like you did when you were first dating. Send playful texts during the day, leave love notes where your partner will find them, give sweet (and spicy) compliments, or play your favorite love songs. Even something as simple as eye contact and a smile can go a long way toward fanning the flames of romance.

5. Explore something new together 

According to Psychology Today, “engaging in novel activities together is good for couples.” Trying out a new hobby, pursuing a project, or learning about a new interest provides an opportunity to experience something together outside of parenthood, work cooperatively as a team, and have fun together. It will also give you something to talk about besides the kids! One way to do this without having to leave your home is by taking classes on coursera.org, which offers thousands of courses on topics such as cooking and nutrition, foreign languages, creative writing, and how to play guitar.

Parenthood certainly brings its share of challenges and obstacles to romance, but they don’t have to be mutually exclusive. These five tips will go far in helping you keep your romantic relationship alive and thriving, even as you succeed in work and motherhood.